Arrested Development: Fox River
by rocketrider231
Summary: When Michael Bluth is arrested for a crime he did not commit, his brother GOB does the only thing he can: break him out. With luck, they'll survive to be featured on the cover of POOF! magazine. Takes place mid-season 2. Collaboration with Dr. Incrediblastic, also posted in Arrested Development/Prison Break crossover.
1. Arrested

It was a normal day in the Bluth Model Home; everybody was hard at work.

That is to say, George Michael was doing his algebra homework, as well as that of his cousin Maeby, who herself was at the Hollywood job she had conned her way into, reading scripts.

Tobias Funke, Maeby's father, was sprawled on the couch watching TV Land in his bathrobe and cutoffs waiting for a call from the Blue Man Group that would change his life.

GOB was fuming over the latest copy of _Poof! _magazine, which again featured Tony Wonder on the front page, doing an act that sort of kind of looked like an act GOB had attempted (but had failed) to perform years ago involving a tube of toothpaste and a platypus.

George, Sr. (who, according to a statement Michael Bluth gave to the prosecutors, was not in the attic of the model home) was in the middle of a therapy session with his newest therapist, Polly, his daughter's doll.

And Michael Bluth was at work at Bluth Industries, trying to salvage what was left of the company's good name after his father drove it into the ground and was arrested for fraud. Or, so they thought.

Lindsay, Michael's twin sister, who had not been in the house, quickly rushed through the door.

"Michael's been arrested!" she shouted. "Don't tell George Michael!"

"My dad's been arrested?" George Michael asked from the kitchen, where he had been doing his and Maeby's algebra homework.

"Wait, what?" asked the air vents (actually, it was George, Sr., who was not in the attic).

"Who said that?" Maeby asked from her seat on the living room couch, next to her father.

"Even God above is stunned by this turn of events!" Tobias exclaimed. This was not entirely untrue, as George, Sr. had played God in the recreation of "The Creation of Adam" every Christmas until he was arrested, and George, Sr. was, indeed, above them (but not in the attic).

"What did our good for nothing do this time?" GOB asked. He was referring to the two or three other times Michael had been put into police custody.

"They said he killed the Vice President's brother or something."

"Ah, Michael was always one for jealousy," GOB sighed. "He always wanted to be the Vice President's brother." He didn't. "That almost became a reality when I ran for Vice President." It hadn't.

"My dad wouldn't kill anyone!" George Michael protested.

"Are you sure about that, George Michael?" GOB asked. He was.

"We have to get him out of there," George Michael persisted.

"Now, now, George Michael, I see what the problem is!" Tobias exclaimed. "You are afraid that without your father, you will be cast out from this family and forced to live on the streets!" In fact, this was the plot of a movie Tobias was auditioning for, _Countless Days In Paradise,_ which revolved around a convicted murderer escaping from prison to reclaim his son's college fund so the now homeless youth could go to Harvard.

"Um…"

"But do not fear! Your aunt Lindsay and I will be perfect stand in parents! You can be Maeby's brother!" This was not welcome news, as George Michael was in love with Maeby, and was having enough trouble reconciling that with the fact they were cousins, never mind siblings.

"No, George Michael is right, Michael would never do something like that! He would have gone straight for the president," Lindsay pointed out.

"Baby steps, Lindsay, baby steps!" GOB observed. At that moment, the door flung open, and their younger brother, Buster, began baby stepping into the house, followed by his mother, Lucille, and his uncle Oscar.

"Or am I?" Oscar asked nobody in particular as he thought he could hear music starting to play.

"Shut up, you're high!" Lucille exclaimed.

"You're drunk!" Oscar retorted.

"Well, so would you if you just found out your son had been arrested for murder!"

"Is it true? Is Michael really in jail?" Buster asked.

"'Fraid so, buddy," GOB said. "Man, who woulda' known that Michael was carrying all this emotional weight?" Perhaps anybody who was aware of the fact that Michael was the only responsible person in the Bluth household, and was the only reason the family hadn't fallen apart yet. Or maybe nobody.

"We have to get him out!" Oscar exclaimed. "It's hard enough with George, Sr. on the run, we can't go on with Michael in jail, too."

"I just called Barry. He says there's no getting Michael out legally."

"So he can get him out?" GOB asked.

"Not _legally,"_ Lucille repeated.

"So what's the problem?" Oscar asked.

"He says he doesn't know how to get him out illegally, either." At that moment, GOB had a flash of inspiration.

"I will get my brother out of prison! And it will be the greatest illusion in the history of illusions!"

"Don't be ridiculous, GOB, you couldn't break into prison, let alone out," Lucille said. "Remember what happened last time?" Lucille was referring to GOB's earlier attempt to prove his magical prowess by breaking out of his father's prison.

"I got out, didn't I?" GOB demanded. He had, but only after being stabbed by the head of the white supremacy gang in the prison and being rushed to the hospital for treatment. "I will go to prison, I will break my brother out, and we will be on the cover of _Poof! _magazine!"

George Michael decided he had better get used to being Maeby's brother.


	2. Arrested (again?)

The next day, GOB had already set his plan into motion. He had managed to talk the warden into attempting to break out a second time.

"You want to try to break out of this prison _again?"_ Warden Gentles asked.

"I was thinking of doing it a second time, but in Thailand, but then I thought 'Lame!' 'cuz that's just doing it all over again."

"So you decided to do it at the exact same prison?"

"Something my dad used to tell me: if it ain't broke, don't break it." It was, indeed, broke, but GOB still hadn't figured that out.

"Now, this sounds like a lucrative publicity opportunity, however, I do have one concern: your brother is in this prison," Warden Gentles observed. "How do I know this isn't an elaborate scheme to break him out?" Slightly panicked, GOB began desperately seeking some comeback that would assure Warden Gentles that he was not a decent human being and good brother, a difficult task for the magician. Fortunately, Barry Zuckercorn, who had accompanied GOB to this meeting, decided to cover for him.

"The last time he did this, his father was in the prison, and GOB only escaped by getting stabbed by White Power Bill."

"He's not going to be around, is he?" GOB asked. "Because if he is, I've got some good medicine for the racism that ails him." GOB was referring to his puppet Franklin, whom he had used in an attempt to break down racial barriers. In the past, these efforts were less than successful, and only exacerbated racial tensions.

"Please tell me you're not talking about Franklin," Barry interrupted.

"He just said some things Whitey wasn't ready to hear," GOB retorted.

"Alright, alright," Warden Gentles said. "I agree to this. You may attempt to break out of my prison. Good luck."

"I won't need it," GOB assured the warden, although, given his track record, he certainly did. Now he only had to convince the warden to let him and his brother be cellmates, so that they didn't have to enlist the aid of other inmates to escape.

"I'll make you cellmates with your brother; hopefully that will keep you out of trouble," Warden Gentles said. Before GOB could protest that this would make things too easy, Barry stepped in again, finally proving that he was worth the $20,000 retainer that the Bluths paid every time they called him.

"That sounds great, let's go, GOB."

"This isn't over!" GOB exclaimed.

"No, it's only just begun!" Warden Gentles replied with a sinister smile.

**Next time on Arrested Development: Fox River...**

Michael and GOB are reunited.

_"GOB? What are you doing here?"_

_"I killed a man, Michael! I'm in here for life!"_

_"…It wasn't anyone who worked at the Bluth Company, was it?"_

The Bluths try to comfort George Michael.

_"I understand how you feel," Buster says, patting his nephew on the shoulder. "My father isn't here, either."_

_"Or is he?" Oscar asks not-so-cryptically._

And George, Sr., is forced to fend for himself.

_"This is the voice of God! Bring chicken wings to the attic as a sacrifice, or you will all go to hell!" an eerie voice calls from the air vents._

_Unfortunately for the Bluths' immortal souls, Tobias had already eaten all the chicken wings._

_"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned!" Tobias says._


End file.
